Love based, not needs based relationships.

What I learnt today is that most marriages are based on needs instead of love. There may be love in the marriage, but the marriage is fundamentally based on needs instead of being based on love.

People have forgotten that love is about other and not about self. Yes there has to be self love, but that is not what we are talking about here. In this post we are discussing love in relationships and marriages.

If your relationship is based on needs, "what about me" and not on love, it is certainly almost always doomed to failure. You will constantly be comparing what you are putting in to what you are getting out. You will never perceive your needs as being fully met.

 According to Tom Campbell and his trilogy "My big TOE", with TOE being an acronym for Theory of everything, marriages should be love based and not at all needs based, and the initiative should be taken by the men in the relationship. The man should do whatever it takes to make his wife happy and any problem that she may have is his responsibility to make right. Nothing is ever her fault and she is never wrong. He should just love her without any expectations about getting anything out of it or anything in return. Complete unconditional love without any expectations of any of his needs being met.  Campbell's theory behind all this is that men are more about the outside world and woman are more about the inner world of relationships etc. Men fumble through relationships, while woman are all about relationships. So according to Campbell if a woman is in a relationship with a man who treats her like gold and who does everything he can to please her and is not needy, she will automatically do her part to keep him happy. If it were the other way around, men would be far more likely to take advantage of the situation than woman.

Woman on the other hand, being more relationship based than men would rarely take advantage of the situation and would actually feel honor bound to reciprocate.

So in a relationship when love is about other and not about me and my needs, and "what about me?", everything naturally takes care of itself.

Obviously in the woman does take advantage of the situation, that would be justify the man ending the relationship.